Rod Miller: A Music Critic's Look At The Wyoming Freedom Caucus

Wyoming’s post-punk, neo-emo, proto-death-metal musical sensation, The Freedom Caucus, rocked the opening gig of their “Five and Dime” tour by slashing their way through every song on their freshman album, “Mandate," in Cheyenne last night.

After the rousing opening act, The Right Wing Senators, warmed the SRO crowd to a fever pitch, The Freedom Caucus invaded the stage like a band of angry Huns, and juiced the somewhat older audience to a slobbering frenzy of political lust with their songs of love and death.

Both groups, fresh from this triumph, will continue the “Five and Dime” tour by headlining Trump’s Sloppy Seconds Inaugural Bash in D.C., before several dates at white-collar detention centers below the Mason-Dixon line. The tour is scheduled to wrap things up on the West Coast at the Matt Gaetz Academy for Wayward Teenyboppers.

Now, let’s get to the music.

Opening with a loud power chord, the band got the audience to their feet pronto with the first track of their album, “Nine Percent Girl," an anthem of rebellion that describes how little it takes to get attention. This song, like most of the band’s repertoire, was written by the bass player, Floral Oral, with lyrics by the go-go dancer, Nina Vagina. The crowd ate it up!

The next offering was loud, too. “School of Guns” shook the rafters with its thunderous message of pushing back against liberal snowflakes, while mocking “safe places” in the educational system.

The last note hadn’t died out before the Freedom Caucus segued into the next number, “Teacher is a Plumber”, another rockin’ song of blue-collar, middle-school angst that praises the virtues of simple words and stick-figure drawings.

Sweaty brows were allowed too cool, as the tender ballad, “In My Womb” (yes, a tad derivative of the Beach Boys) slowed things down a bit. Often criticized as misogynistic and overtly macho, it’s an audience favorite for slow-dancing. The message is unmistakably, “I’m in charge.”

“Don’t Vote If You Don’t Vote For Me” is perhaps the band’s signature song. They serve it up with onstage costumery borrowed from the New York Dolls, and thug life realism copped from the beloved Tupac himself. Some critics view this little ditty as threatening, while others see it as a clear expression of Anglo-Saxon confidence. You be the judge.

“Stay Outa My Bathroom” draws a clear musical line on the tile about which way toilet paper should hang, and who can do what and where. It’s also a thinly-veiled metaphor for border control. On the charts, this song is Number One with a bullet.

Things get all lentamente again with the next song, as the band sits cross-legged on the stage, and trades their electric instruments for acoustic. The audience is invited to hold hands and sing along on the folky ballad, “White Like Us.” It is a moving moment of unity.

Cellphone flashlights are held aloft, illuminating the state for the next barn-burner, “We Don’t Need No Steenking Badges” that, verse by verse, deconstructs the modern myth of government. It’s a protest song, sure. But its also a paean to self-reliance, and man in a state of nature.

The Freedom Caucus closed out their set with another sing-along, “Fact Check This, Asshole!”, a powerful plea for First Amendment freedom, then walked through the curtain backstage.

Rapturous applause coaxed the band back for a clever rendition of “Dead Celebrities.” The audience was still trembling as the band retired for the night after a final benediction, and the ritual passing of the collection plate..

The merch tables in the lobby were soon emptied of red hats, gold sneakers and Bibles signed by the band. 

It was overheard after the show among some concertgoers that, thank God, a replacement for Lawrence Welk had, at last, been found.

Rod Miller can be reached at: RodsMillerWyo@yahoo.com