Every Valentineās Day for the past 10 years, Joe Eason has had one mission as Casperās singing Cupid.Ā
Itās not to deliver love.
Itās to maximize embarrassment ā as much embarrassment as humanly possible.
āI had a friend of mine named Keith, and I think it was my second or third year of doing this,ā Eason told Cowboy State Daily. āAnd he rode around with me when Valentineās Day was, like, on a weekend, and made this little 15-minute documentary he titled āDelivering Embarrassment.ā
āSo thatās kind of been my tagline ever since, because I know thereās people who do telegrams that are actually kind of romantic and sweet. But I just want people to know right away that if Iām walking in to sing to someone, Iām bringing as much embarrassment as possible.ā
And he admits that perhaps the most embarrassing thing about his singing telegrams are his own performances.
Eason, who was once a drummer in a heavy metal band called Faisst, feels the embarrassing approach is what really works best for him.
āMy singing voice is not what I would call lovely,ā he said. āI was a drummer for a reason. So, this is more about just being embarrassing, rather than hitting the notes to be on āAmerican Idolā or anything.ā
Easonās telegrams have been hugely popular, with him completing as many as 35 for Valentineās Day each year.
Playing It To The Cupid Hilt
Eason actually delivers singing telegrams all year long. But Valentineās Day is the king of all days for this side gig. Valentineās requires lots of honey lemon tea to soothe his throat, especially since it usually includes a couple days leading up to the actual holiday.
To get ready, Eason will completely clear his schedule, taking a day off from his regular job cleaning carpets, so heās not doing anything else but singing telegrams. The madness on Valentineās Day starts as soon as 7:30 a.m. and continues until 6:30 p.m. that night.Ā
For the occasion, he will dress to the Cupid hilt, while keeping it as goofy as possible, with tiny but extra fluffy white wings, and flashy red silk boxers and a sash. There are also knee-high leather sandals that channel an ancient Rome vibe, complete with a gold headband and cheap plastic bow.Ā
Imagine that walking up to your door. Itās obvious heās making quite the scene before heās even opened his mouth to start singing. In one hand, thereāsĀ the huge bouquet of floating balloons, and the other grasps a flimsy cupidās bow. The victim ā er recipient ā canāt help but know, in the pit of their stomach, that theyāre in for trouble.
Easonās Cupid gig has led to some pretty funny assignments over the years, as well as a little notoriety. Not only do people recognize him when he walks in the door to do a singing telegram, but he also bumps into people who know of him when heās doing normal, everyday things, like shopping at the grocery store.
He Can Be Bought, But Not Blocked
Eason has had people yell at him when they see him coming, trying to ward him off, as well as offer him cash on the spot to not sing at all.Ā
But, while Eason can be bought, he wonāt be blocked.Ā Once heās been hired to do the job, heās going to finish it. Every last blessed singing note.
But he does let all his victims know that turnabout is fair play in the game of love and war. He will absolutely allow his embarrassed victims to hire him for an equally embarrassing revenge telegram.Ā
āAnd Iāve had that happen,ā Eason said. āThis one guy, within 10 minutes of my leaving his shop, heād hired me to go sing to his girlfriend. So, Iāve had a lot couples on both sides in the same day before.ā
Heās also had the stars align, in an almost cosmic, karma-like way, delivering perfect, but unintended, revenge. Like the Valentineās-themed singing telegram he just did Thursday at an office in Casper.Ā
One woman had bought a singing telegram for her coworker, but unbeknownst to that woman, her own husband had also ordered up a singing telegram for her.
āSo, whatās going to happen is, Iām going to go sing to this co-worker of hers, and sheās probably going to film it and laugh and have a good time,ā Eason said. āAnd then Iāll go out to my car and sit there for a second, and then Iāll bring in another balloon bouquet and break the news to her that Iām actually singing to her now.ā
The Funny Costumes Are Always Ready To Go
Eason has all sorts of costumes for his singing telegrams besides the cupid outfit. He doesnāt do as many singing telegrams outside of Valentineās Day, but there are birthdays, and there are those ājust becauseā occasions, where someone wants to have a little fun at a colleagueās expense.Ā Eason is there for it.
He has a hallway closet in his home devoted to all of the costumes heās collected over the past decade. That makes it easy for him to grab a costume and go for a few singing telegrams in between his regular job cleaning carpets.
āIāve got a taco suit and a banana suit that I just kind of had for Halloween slash whatever else,ā he said. āAnd Iāve got a fireman costume and a gorilla suit. Itās a big, hairy gorilla suit thatās hard otherwise see out of, but that one is always a hit.ā
His personal favorite though, is the blue gnome suit, which is clearly channeling some sort of Smurf vibe.Ā
āThat one came about because I got hired for a telegram five, six years ago, and the gentleman said, āWell, my wife has a thing for gnomes. Do you mind if I got you a gnome suit? Would you wear it?āā
The answer to that was not only yes, but heck yeah. Bring it on.
āItās actually like a pretty cool costume,ā Eason said. āItās easy to put on and take it off, and, other than Cupid for Valentineās Day, itās one of my favorites. Itās got the hat with a beard and everything, but itās still breathable and I can even see out of it, so that helps.ā
Itās Still About Love, Even If Itās Goofy And Revenge-Filled
Eason got started with singing telegrams 10 years ago when a friend recommended him to Michelleās Balloons, who was looking for someone to deliver balloons and singing telegrams.
Eason liked the idea because heād done a lot of performing in the heavy metal band he and his friends once had, and missed it.Ā
āIāve got a family now and Iāve settled down, so I donāt do band performance anymore,ā Eason said. āBut Iām super thankful that Iāve been able to keep my performing career afloat. It helps me scratch that itch that I always have to perform and entertain people, and Iām super thankful for the people of Casper who put me to work every year doing this.ā
Eason can still get a little nervous before a performance, though.
āI get a little bit of the butterflies,ā he said. āIām there to be wild and embarrass the person, but I donāt want to mess up the song, and I have a little bit of nerves that keep it to where Iām not like, losing myself in laughter.ā
Still, occasionally, if his victim is losing it, he canāt help but giggle a little bit himself.Ā
Nerves, though, are also why he prefers at least a weekās notice for songs not on his greatest hits list ā the most requested singing telegrams. That way, he has a chance to practice, so he can be at his most embarrassing best.Ā
The top of his greatest hits list is his favorite,ā L-O-V-Eā by Nat King Cole, followed in a close second by āYou are My Sunshine.ā
The other songs people have really liked over the years are āHot Stuffā by Donna Summer, āNo One Likes youā By the Scorpions, āMy Girl,ā by the Temptations, āI Donāt Want To Miss A Thing,ā By Aerosmith, and āPour Some Sugar On Me,ā By Def Leppard.
For which Eason will, quite often, literally pour a little sugar on the recipient of the Telegram.
Thatās for sure embarrassing, Eason acknowledged. But, in the end, he figures the telegrams are still all in the spirit of love. Even when itās goofy or revenge-filled love, it still shows how much someone really cares.
Contact Renee Jean at renee@cowboystatedaily.com
RenƩe Jean can be reached at renee@cowboystatedaily.com.