‘Please Stop’: Hanna Market Pleads With Anonymous Toilet Paper Thief

Months into a so-far fruitless search for a new law enforcement officer for tiny Hanna, Wyoming, the town of about 700 nestled along Highway 30 between Rawlins and Medicine Bow is more vulnerable to criminal influences.

Perhaps that can explain the recent thefts at the local Hanna Hometown Market.

“Can’t believe I’m posting this, but I don’t know what else to do,” the market’s general manager, Audrey Seegmiller, pleaded on the store’s Facebook page this week.

Seems someone has been doing some shoplifting.

“Guys, the toilet paper we keep in the bathrooms at the store is not free for the taking,” she continues. “Whoever is taking them, please stop.”

She goes on to say that if anybody is desperate enough to steal the extra rolls of store-brand TP stashed in the bathroom, just speak up and “I will buy you a package myself.”

Who Swiped The Wipes?

As of Friday, the crime remains unsolved. Whether stealing TP is a victimless crime depends on who makes the unfortunate discovery when there are no backup rolls when the one on the dispenser hits cardboard.

What the staff at the store does know is that whoever is pilfering the paper is likely a woman.

 “We’ve noticed it’s being stolen from the women’s restroom,” said Michele Keith, a manager at the store.

While there is no town marshal to investigate the crime for the folks at the Hometown Market, they’ve got the situation in hand, Keith said.

“We’ve made it to where we only put one roll in there at a time, and that’s the one in the dispenser,” she said. “We don’t usually have much other shoplifting.”

That’s because there are cameras throughout the store, but not in the bathrooms.

Not The Crime Of The Century

Even if Hanna had a town marshal — the search continues — Keith said that while it’s a crappy thing to do, making off with a few rolls of toilet paper isn't likely to rise to the level of involving the law.

“It’s not that serious to bring them into it,” she said. “And since (the Facebook post), people have had fun with it. They tell us, ‘We’re here to steal your toilet paper.’”

Greg Johnson can be reached at greg@cowboystatedaily.com.